Embracing the Awk

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“Double Deuces” courtesy of B’s private collection

Being photographed is tough. Some people are so good at it. They look so natural and comfortable, effortlessly cool, etc.. I look basically the opposite of all of those things in just about every photo ever taken of me. I have always felt more comfortable behind the camera than in front of it. The above image is a perfect example of why. I am super awkward in photos, and have accordingly disliked being photographed for most of my life. In recent years I have thankfully come to embrace the awkwardness, and I have my little sister partially to thank for this. If there is one person who ranks on my levels of unnaturaltude when the camera is pointed in their direction, it is her. I should also mention that she is a woman who struggles with autism. Perhaps I too have some sort of social disability which causes me to lose my sense of “normalcy” when I find myself staring into the business end of a lens.

At any rate, I have her to thank for my decision to embrace my shortcomings as a subject in photos. A few years ago, I noticed that she had adopted sort of a signature pose for photos. She would hold up two fingers, peace-frogs-style and pop her hip out to the side. By doing so, she spun her discomfort of being photographed into her own brand of sassy protest (“okay go ahead and take my photo, but you are going to get this pose”). Amazed at how well this seemed to work, I took a page from her book and started throwing deuces in photos every chance I had. When possible, I will even incorporate double deuces. As ironic as it may sound, I have hated photos of me much less since adopting her approach. While the photos are ostensibly “worse” and certainly more contrived than before the advent of the deuce pose (not to be confused with the other deuce pose), at least I can laugh at them now, as opposed to just cringing. So while I will most likely never be able to look cool, natural or at ease in photos, I can thank my sis for helping me embrace a signature awkward pose.

De La Weekend (America’s Cup)

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The weather here has been a bit bananas. It rained for about 10 days straight and didn’t break 60 degrees. Then Sunday happened. The forecast all week was heavy rain for Sunday. Instead we got sunshine and breeze. I normally don’t care for the breeze. But America’s Cup happened this weekend. I generally try to avoid gatherings of 30k or more humans in public spaces. But when sailboat racing happens in my neighborhood, it is kind of hard not to step out and take a gander. Also, B used to race sailboats. So I had a front row seat at one of the world’s premier sailboat racing events and expert commentary from a sexy woman. It was actually pretty awesome. Here are some snaps–

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Staying Sane

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Welp, B is in China. I’m going a little nuts w/o her here. Have tried very hard to keep myself busy. Weekend is not even over yet. Put together this little gem tho. I slapped a gopro onto the underside of Trixie’s handlebars for a Saturday ride across the Brooklyn Bridge. Apologies for my fat face starting into the lens in the beginning. It gets “good” if you can make it past the elevator. If you have 5 spare mins, enjoy.

mnhtn —> bkln via bicycle from Jacob Breinholt on Vimeo.

De La Weekend (1 WTC)

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I had a very event filled weekend, spent with close friends and family. During the course of it all, we paid a visit to the new One World Observatory at the top of 1 WTC. The experience did not disappoint. I generally avoid tourist traps, because I don’t have the patience to wait in lines. But for a few extra $$ you can skip the line and go straight to the top. So, we went that route. I want to go back again when I am not on such a tight schedule, so that I can spend more time up there. It was a pretty clear day with great visibility. I would highly recommend the experience.

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De La Weekend (Armory Week Edition)

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It was Armory week in NYC. I didn’t actually go to the Armory show this year. Nor did I go to Scope or Pulse, which I have really liked in past years. I did, however, go to Art of Paper for the first time ever. Mostly I went because it was at Pier 36, which is walkable from our apt. There was some decent work. Nothing blew me away. I have included images of a few of my favorites.

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The light was very nice when we left. Here are some snaps from the walk home along the East River.

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Lastly, I borrowed this old 35mm beaut (below) from my amigo over the weekend. I bought a bunch of film on Amazon today. Should be loaded up ready to snap by the end of the week. Very excited about it.

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De La Weekend (Springtime in Feb Edition)

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Sunday was one of those few days that I was able to talk B into a quick portrait session. The weather was super warm for February, and the afternoon light was awesome. We were shooting with the 50mm f/1.2L, wide open. I love the way that it naturally vignettes. Buttery.

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De La Weekend (Super X Gonz Edition)

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We hit a little Soiree Friday night at the Super store on Howard. The event was for the launch of custom model of sunnies designed by skateboarding legend Mark Gonzales. He was there autographing copies of a ‘zine that he published in connection with the event. A bunch of our friends were also in attendance. I brought along the range finder and got a few snaps. Made for quite an enjoyable evening.

A pretty funny story (possibly only funny to me) about my first encounter with the Gonz: Tenish years ago, I used to frequent the skate park in Riverside Park. It was the only public park on the island with a (barely) vert ramp. One Saturday morning I arrived at the park right as it had opened. The only thing required for admission was to have a helmet with you, and sign your name on a piece of paper. An NYC Parks worker was the gatekeeper. I picked up the pen to sign in, and noticed that I would be number 2 on the list, right below “Mark Gonzales.” Assuming that some punk kid had signed in as the Gonz, I snickered to myself and for a split moment considered signing “Tony Hawk” or something instead of writing my real name. When I walked up the stairs onto the deck of the halfpipe, Gonz was up there. I remember him wearing bright green corduroy pants and no pads. We skated together for like 2 hours. It is probably my most memorable session that I ever had on that ramp.

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Probably my favorite shot of the night (below).

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And one flick from Saturday:

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NYC Coffee Cups

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I’m not a coffee snob (or anything even close to that). When I buy coffee, I usually just get drip (or a double shot Americano when in Europe) and usually take it black because it saves time. I think that coffee tastes disgusting, though I drink a lot of it primarily for its caffeinated properties. Because of this, when I buy coffee, I generally select coffee shops based on things such as branding rather than what it “tastes” like. I will admit that I appreciate some good visual design when it comes to coffee cups (and almost everything else). There are a lot of ’em here in the city. Within a one block radius of my office there are at least 3 non-chain coffee joints. In that same radius there are probably 5-7 chain locations (Starbucks/Dunkin/Coffee Bean). I find myself patronizing the non-chain brands almost exclusively, and a lot of it is based on branding (i.e. the visual aesthetic of the disposable cups/sleeves). My friends at Gear Patrol, published an awesome little blurb this week visually cataloging some of the cups that can be obtained around NYC. I thought it was such a cool idea that I’m sharing it here. There are a few others that I would have included in the image had I been creative enough to come up with this idea. But I think that they chose a good cross-section. Check out the original piece over here.

[Photo: Henry Phillips]

Number 10

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This is a kind of long and personal story about a race I ran last Sunday. The story actually starts several years ago. In a former life, I was a very avid runner. Everything from vacation schedules to weekly social activities revolved around running. I have never been exceptionally fast, or anything like that. But running was a hobby that I dedicated a lot of time and energy to. As I started to rack up races, I thought it would be cool to run 10 marathons.

By the end of 2011 I had completed nine marathon finishes, including NYC (twice). I was on a roll. During this process, I qualified for the 2012 New York City Marathon. When late October 2012 rolled around I was all trained up and ready to go. About that time, Hurricane Sandy came through and wrecked up this whole region causing the city to cancel the race. I wholeheartedly agree that cancelling the race was the correct decision. Even so, it was more than a bit disheartening for me to have put in so much work without being able to enjoy the reward. Since it was to be my 10th, I was determined to make this marathon really count. I had high hopes for a new PR. I had invited family to come from out of town. They made it as far as DC (from Alaska).

After the decision was made to cancel the race, they offered all of the would-be participants automatic entry to any one of NYC Marathons in the following three years. The let-down from 2012 caused me to have a lot of introspection relating to the way that running had basically consumed all of my free time. The hobby was especially time consuming when I was training for something and I was almost always training for something. I concluded that I would take a break from competing (against myself [I have never been fast enough to compete for real]), and just enjoy running. So I chose to use my automatic entry for 2014. I did run some races in 2013. But I ran with my friends for fun, and did minimal (if any) training.

When 2014 cropped up, I was ready to buckle down again and get serious about putting forth an honest effort that November. Since I had become very out of shape, I decided to start training in early summer. I had dropped a few LBs and started to pick up the pace by September. This is also when I crashed my moto, partially severing my left quadricep muscle. As one could imagine, the injury made walking quite difficult for a while and running was virtually impossible. Even though I had mostly recovered from the injury by the end of October, I had missed the most crucial weeks of training. I decided to cancel my entry to the race, seek a medical deferment and try again in 2015.

FF to 2015>> Almost every aspect of my life has changed since 2012. I have a different job. I live in a different neighborhood. I have a new partner in crime. I’m feeling generally more balanced and content with life. As I began training for the race this year, the idea of finishing a 10th marathon evolved into a symbolic mile marker (pun intended) for me. I saw it as a sort of capstone on transitioning to a different phase of life. This understandably probably sounds very corny. Just the same, I felt like those aspects of my life that I had been chasing since the beginning of 2012 had finally started to fall into place. In my mind, being able to finish this race would be a tangible piece of evidence of this.

I put together a 19 week training program. It wasn’t perfect. I missed some runs. But I had a good network of friends helping me stay accountable. Ultimately, even though I didn’t get back into perfect shape, I was able to get into viable marathon shape. A few weeks before the race I did an 18 mile race on a flat course and ended up inadvertently pacing about a quarter of a minute per mile faster than I had intended. This gave me a lot of confidence going into the end of October. The last few days before the race I was having a lot of anxiety. I hadn’t trained on hills at all. I was second guessing how well I would be able to keep my pace over the Queensboro Bridge, and up 1st Ave. And blah blah blah, this story is getting too long.

Paul Harvey-style, here is the rest of the story: Sunday morning November 1st came along, I woke up at 4:45 (thanks to daylight savings, it only felt like 5:45). I put on my sneaks and made the short walk to the Staten Island Ferry terminal in Battery Park. As soon as the ferry set sail, all of my anxiety faded very quickly. I was there on this giant orange boat with runners from all over the world. Various languages could be heard conversing in low voices about what we were all about to undertake. I watched my fellow marathoners, sharing bananas, texting loved ones and gramming the Statue of Liberty. All of this while we glided in unison over the calm grey predawn harbor toward the starting line. I was reminded of how this race meant so many different things to so many people. My fears of not being able to meet my self-imposed running goals transitioned into feelings of gratitude to be able to participate in such a grand event. I was also feeling grateful for all of the good things that have happened in my life since Hurricane Sandy.

My race went as well as it could have. The weather was perfect. I came out too fast (as always) and died early (as always). Along the course I saw my girlfriend cheering for me, not once, but twice. I saw friends who had come out to support, one of which snapped the photo above (thanks, Jon). Even though this course has always been traditionally slow for me, the energy was so amazing that I felt like I was winning the entire time. And even though I didn’t get a PR (or anywhere near), I did get my PR for the course. I finished a solid six minutes faster than I did last time I ran NYC.

I know that in this day and age it isn’t really a big deal to complete a marathon. For a lot of people, finishing ten is not even a great feat. But for me, when I crossed the finish line last Sunday, it was a very significant personal accomplishment. For me, it was the race of a lifetime.