The Author on Any Given Run Day | Photo: Courtesy B. Maschal Private Collection
Friends, running has been around a long, long time. But (by my observation) only in recent years, with its explosion in popularity has running sadly developed ‘fashion’ trends. Ciele hats are pretty innocuous, but there is nothing novel about them. They just slapped their branding on a tried and true format of running hat. I’ll still never own one. Tracksmith? Don’t get me started… At any rate, the point of this post is not to throw shade on all of the trendy running garb that as a true curmudgeon I deem clownish, it is to remind runners that running is not a fashion show.
Specifically, I would like to address the need that some runners feel to purchase and wear the single lens glasses for running. If you aren’t sure what I’m talking about, google “running glasses”. No doubt, these things look rad on a certain face shape. Probably makes the wearer feel really fast, too. For the rest of the crowd, you just look like a mid-90s version of a suburban cop or baseball player. If that’s what your are going for, skip the rest of this post. If you are wearing them because they are so light weight, I might ask you why are you also carrying a phone and a water bottle. Anyway…
For most people’s faces, these windshield-style of glasses are not complimentary. There are many, many, many alternative frame styles that are equally agile and almost, if not equally as light. Selection guide- Start with the shape of sunnies that you feel cute wearing to your friend’s bbq. After 10sih mins of googling, you will most likely be able to find a cheapish plastic framed version with a similar look. Hell, maybe the ones you wear to the bbq ARE the cheapish plastic framed ones! Wear ’em running and look like yourself out there on the course instead of looking like A-Rod in his steroid fueled prime!
I personally have always felt most comfortable wearing a wayfarer shape of frame. The Oakley Frogskin which is a derivative of the wayfarer shape, has been my go-to for multiple decades. There is almost always some sort of art collab version of them on sale direct from the Oakley website. I feel like I have never paid full price for a pair since it was actually the 1990s (some crystal frames with purple iridium lenses). I know that they are gonna get pretty scratched up in my gym bag and that at some point I will eventually lose them. Then I get whichever new ones are on sale. Not a fashion show.
In conclusion, I would like to give props to people out there wearing HOKA shoes, which are probably the ugliest shoe I have ever seen. But supposedly they work exceptionally well, for certain runners. These runners clearly do not give any fux at all about how they look, or what other people might think. Props, amigos. If you are brave enough to wear those Ronald McDonald looking Kanye-Clogs out in public, I will not judge you for your shoes, sunglasses or anything else. You are clearly out there just to get it done. We should all be more like you.